


Sisterly Swooning

by WhyDontYouTakeaSeat



Series: Family Swoons [2]
Category: Love Simon (2018), Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: F/M, Family Dynamics, Fluff, Humour, M/M, Sassy, Sweet, Unfortunate timing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-01
Updated: 2018-06-01
Packaged: 2019-05-16 23:12:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14820728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhyDontYouTakeaSeat/pseuds/WhyDontYouTakeaSeat
Summary: *Tiny LOTO soiler - very slight and will not effect your read*Nora's date had been going well, even great if she thought about it. At least that was true until she invited him in for something to drink - a decision she would later regret due to her brother and his boyfriend.





	Sisterly Swooning

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry it's been a while since I put anything out, but it has just been really busy and hectic - I'm sure everybody has those months. I really liked writing Parental Swooning so I thought I'd write a few companion pieces over the time. On a totally different note, there is one figurative expression in this piece that is 100% ridiculous and 100% not mine - see if you can pick it out. Enjoy!

Nora’s evening had been… lovely. A great night with a great guy – who knew Cal would be exactly what she needed or wanted at the moment? Fireflies were floating around, illuminating the depth of the darkness outside the Spier household as the crescent moon hung in the night sky.

“I was wondering if you’d like to come in for a quick drink or something?” Nora said a little quietly and timidly as she held herself back from running a hand through her hair; a truly stereotypical move – Simon would not approve.

“Nora, I’d love to, but what about your parents?” She couldn’t help but laugh as Cal managed to stammer it out.

“Well, firstly they’re not here and secondly it’s only a hot drink or something so I doubt anyone has it in for you quite yet.” Cal looked slightly worried by what she had said.

“Yet?”

“Simon can be protective and Bram is whipped and so far gone on him. Well, it goes both ways, but for our purposes, we’ll leave it there.” Nora sounded matter of fact, but the depth of her idyllic green eyes said a thousand words that were left unsaid till Cal probed further.

“You say whipped like it’s a bad thing.” Her response was to slightly lift an eyebrow as if to show she was thinking – a mannerism Cal had noticed at dinner.

"Au contraire my friend. Close your eyes for a second and just trust me – try to open your mind.” Cal did as the budding musician requested, his eyelashes flickered closed and he looked peaceful. “Imagine having someone in your life that you’re tied to mind, body and soul. Imagine that something as simple as their smile could brighten your day, change your mood almost entirely and shift your demeanour. Imagine having somebody that you love so intensely that they’re your anchor and you’d do anything for them-“

“Doesn’t that sound like servitude to you?” Nora considered his minor interruption and dignified him with a response. He wasn’t trying to be difficult, just playing the devil’s advocate.

“Servitude to emotion – in other words, the human experience. We’re all slaves to our emotions; hate, love, fear, loss and all other feelings predispose us to act in certain ways, but we still control ourselves. If I had to be a slave to any emotion, I’d choose love every time. I didn’t mean to get all philosophical on your ass, but just imagine being that in love – sounds great to me! So, I’d love to be whipped.” They both fell silent in the awkwardness of the last thing she had said, at least until Cal quirked up.

“Mr. Grey will see you now.” Nora playfully hit him. “I know what you mean though, I’d love to find my own special someone.” 

Nora couldn’t help but grin widely with Cal, so she turned to the door to let them inside – the door, unfortunately, had other ideas. Nora hated it when inanimate objects refused to bend to her will, so she smashed her hip into the wooden door right before it flew open.

Turning to Cal, she smiled and placed a hand on her hip in a cynical fashion.  
“Some things just take a little shove. I’ve never had to do that before, I think I’ll have to tell my parents about that.” Nora muttered a little quietly as she walked in and shut the door behind Cal.

“I don’t think it was the door Nora.”

“What do you mean?” She watched Cal as he bent down and picked up a shirt that had bunched up and jammed the door. “What the hell is that?”

“A man’s shirt.”

“No shit Sherlock, but what is it doing at the front doo-“ Nora stopped herself before she turned around and tiptoed down the hallway with a finger over her lips. Cal matched the action (which made him feel absolutely ridiculous) and followed her through the house until they reached what was obviously the loungeroom.

There on the couch were Simon and Bram shirtless and in the middle of a fairly heavy make-out session with a slight side of petting… slight was an understatement. Bram had one of his hands running through Simon’s slightly-too-long hair whilst his other was gripping Simon’s lower back and was pulling Nora’s brother into him as they fervently locked lips.

Simon in the meantime had one hand gripping his boyfriend’s cheek and the other at the top of his toned torso. Intense would be the word to describe the sight. It was when Simon began to kiss his way down Bram’s neck, which elicited a moan from the boy, that Nora knew her timing was perfect.

“You know, sometimes I think I can bring people over but then I remember my brother could be shirtless with his boyfriend on the couch or worshipping his body with some heavy, heavy petting.” Nora’s tone was sarcastic (she clearly didn’t care) and she had this ‘holier than thou’ smile piercing her face, her left eyebrow slightly raised.

At Nora’s first syllable, Simon fell from straddling Bram onto the floor out of shock – it takes a clumsy person to manage that.

“Please, don’t stand up. There are some things in this world that a sister doesn’t need to see. We’re just lucky you’re both wearing pants.” Nora continued her tonal tirade as she put out her open palm in a stop motion. Bram clearly mortified rolled over to hide his face and… other bodily protrusions. Simon, on the other hand, had nowhere to hide and was the same colour as the Communist Manifesto.

“Nora, what are you doing here?”

“Last time I checked I live here and I was only out on a date, not a 3-day soiree.” It wasn’t until that point either Bram or Simon noticed Cal’s presence.

“Hey Cal, nice to see you again.” Bram whispered just loud enough as he remained face down on the couch.

“You too Bram, you too.”

“The pleasure’s all ours isn’t it Cal? Nice abs Bram, Simon’s a lucky guy.” She wasn’t lying, Simon was a lucky guy – on that, everyone in the room seemed to be in agreement.

“Nora please.” Simon mumbled, eyes closed as if he were trying to fly away; fly away from the humiliation.

“What Si? I can appreciate abs and so can Cal. If you didn’t want to face this humiliation you probably shouldn’t have decided to dry-hump on the couch.”

“It’s probably a fair call babe.” Bram said whilst lacing his words with clear regret. A betrayal of the highest order. As Bram finished, the door opened once more and in strolled Emily and Jack Spier.

“My favourite part was when… Jack who is the strange boy standing in our hallway?” Jack shook his shoulders in response.

“Nora, who is the strange boy standing in our hallway?” Jack echoed to his daughter – a daughter who had a maniacal smile on her face and a dark, dark joy consuming her eyes.

“Oh look, Mum and Dad have arrived to observe our flagrant display of sexuality.” Nora said to Simon – to the confusion of her parents – before responding to their question. “This is Cal, we went out and I invited him in for something to drink.” She beckoned her parents down the hall towards the lounge room.

“Nice to meet you Mr. and Mrs. Spier.”

“Oh, Cal that’s sweet, but just Emily and Jack will do.”

“Speak for yourself honey, I think I prefer Mr. Spier.” The Spier patriarch was not the most imposing man you could imagine, but he could have a menacing presence when he chose to or at least he thought he could. This, unfortunately, was one such moment.

“Well, changing the subject, something more interesting than my date is going on in here.” Nora was evil, pure evil. Jack looked confused until he physically turned toward Simon and Bram – it was too late for them to escape now.

“Hi Jack, Emily.” Bram murmured with a shaky voice as he rose his hand and waved hello.

“Hello shirtless Bram. Nice to see you again, but something’s a little different than usual. Could it be the lack of a shirt or the hiding in the couch cushions?” Emily hit her husband lightly before throwing the boys their shirts.

“Dad, to be brutally honest, is it actually any different than usu-“ Nora was cut off by a pillow to the face from her clearly humiliated older brother. By this point both Bram and Simon had managed to put their shirts back on.

“I think everyone’s seen enough of me for one night, so I’ll be off. It’s been… nice to see you all.” Bram sighed as he sort of awkwardly inched closer to the door with Simon in toe (attached hip and hand), managing to hold a slight sense of dignity until Nora’s quip kicked in.

“I don’t think Simon has seen enough of you for one night or even as much of you as he wanted to see.” Nora was the next to get a hit from the out-of-date edition of Women’s Day Emily was cradling in her palm as Simon and Bram slinked out the front door.

“I think that’s my cue too Nora – I should probably be getting back, sorry about the drink. It was nice meeting you Emily and Jack.” Cal said, projecting confidence as he walked out with Nora in tow – it was easy to project confidence after what had happened to Simon and Bram.

After a quarter of an hour both Bram and Cal had driven off (after an extended goodbye) leaving Simon and Nora sitting outside the front door together.

“How’s it going with Cal?” Simon asked in an effort to break the silence of the night as a light wind drifted over the average Georgian night.

“It’s going… well, I think. I like him but I guess we’ll see.” The silence returned for just long enough to be awkward. “Si, you know I don’t care about what happened tonight and that I love Bram right?” Simon grinned at his younger sister and bumped his shoulder against hers affectionately.

“Yeah I know. Sorry about tonight.” Simon sounded remorseful, but Nora just flicked her hand as if to say ‘don’t worry about it’. She followed her wave by resting her head on Simon’s shoulder.

“I’m glad that you found him Si and I’m glad he makes you happy. It’s nice to have another brother too.”

“You’re preaching to the choir here. Was one brother not enough for you?” Simon laughed playfully with his sister.

“You’re perfect but having one more brother isn’t the worst thing in this world. Especially one that could improve your taste in music.” Simon pouted, feigning rage.

“I’m fairly certain that assertion about my music taste is the most offensive thing I’ve heard in my life. That was just cruel.” He continued to act overly-dramatic.

“I hope I find my Bram someday Si. I want to know how it feels to be in so deep.” Nora wistfully sighed as her mind flickered back to Bram.

“You’ll find it someday Nora. Who knows, you might have already found it.” Simon attempted to cheer up his little sister with his best advice.

“I don’t know Si. I know what it looks like now – the way he pushed you into the side of his car and I could tell that you’re each other’s worlds, that morning in the kitchen when Mom let Bram sleep with you. I don’t think that’s what Cal and I have or possibly could be.” Simon took her hand in his and kissed her forehead.

“You can’t think in comparisons Nora, you betray yourself that way. The way Bram and I met was really intense and personal. We fell in love before we met and when we did meet everything fell into place and the intensity just carried on. You might find someone like that, but it will be your story and it will be so different and just as special.” Nora squeezed his hand out of appreciation and slyly smiled at him.

For a few minutes they both sat in silence, watching the crescent moon sit in the apex of the sky. A slight breeze blew over them once more and made Nora a little cold – she shivered and pressed further into her brother.

“Si, can I ask you something?” She peered up at him and pulled off his shoulder.

“Go ahead.”

“Do you think you’ll spend the rest of your life with him?” Simon lit up at the thought of his life with Bram and went into some sort of love-trance. His eyes had this slight sparkle, his facial features relaxed, he grinned, sighed and bit his bottom lip.

“I hope so, that would literally be the best way to spend my life – with him. Who knows what the future holds, but I love him so much you know?” Nora smiled at her love-sick brother.

“Pretty easy to tell. It’s not like you’re subtle. He’s practically already part of the family; I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a photo of him up on our wall already.”

The cold continued to swell and the air became crisp.  
“Time to go inside?” Simon nodded, took a hold of her hand and they walked inside to their parents – a true nightmare.

“Simon, we understand that you and Bram are having sex-“ Emily had started to say before Simon interrupted.

“Do we have to talk about this right now?” She nodded in response to her guilty son.

“There’s nothing we can do about that or would want to do about that but just make sure-“ Once again the Spier matriarch was cut-off before she could finish her sentiment.

“Make sure to be safe and etc – I got it the first time we had this talk mom.” Simon’s interruption had her looking pleased but also slightly perturbed.

“I’m glad you understand that, but I was just going to say make sure not to do anything explicit on the couch or kitchen bench.” Unexpected, but no less mortifying. Simon moved back over to his sister and whispered in her ear before he escaped up the stairs.

“This is what you have to look forward to sis. Good luck.”

**Author's Note:**

> Did you catch the "red as the communist manifesto", after the joke about 50 Shades I couldn't help thinking about that absolutely ridiculous expression and I really wanted to fit in just as a little joke. I hope you enjoyed your read!


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